Spinning

That's what we've been doing...spinning our wheels. I know that the time we spend at work, driving, getting ready, cleaning, paying bills, maintaining, is purposeful, but it also feels like a rat race a lot of the time. This world we try to exist in (sometimes hanging on by our toenails) with its ever-escalating technological, economic, career-driven, mentally/spiritually deprived demands is exhausting. My sentiment of late is "I don't like being a grown-up".

This past week a first-grade teacher at a nearby school left her 16-month-old baby in her car all day long. The car was parked at the school, and no one saw. My baby is 18 months old, and this incident absolutely tore me up. I'm that busy. My mind is scattered in that many directions. I have had to turn around in our school parking lot because I have forgotten to drop off my baby. It could have been me. It could have been anyone trying to super-function in this ridiculous fast-paced world that we've created for ourselves. Why?

I don't know. Disheartening? Yes.

But then again, I do know. Even though this world may be ridiculous, so are my blessings. With the utmost humility, I am so grateful for what God has given. The beauty in the faces of my children, in the love of my husband, in the warmth of our home, is indescribable. Truly. I am blessed to spend every work day in the same building with my daughter. My son is a stone's throw away in a facility where he is loved and nurtured by people who love God. My husband is a devoted provider and leader.

So, even though it's hard, I'm thankful for the enormous growth that comes from living in faith that God will take care of us. We are so small and know so little. Everyone has their own story with God, and He uses our circumstances to shape and build us. I am so, so grateful, and I try every day to give my life to God--to be his arms and legs and voice. Casting Crowns has a song with lyrics to the effect of "If we're the body, then why aren't His arms reaching, his voice calling..." Anyway, THAT's why.

Thank you, God, for the difficulties of life. Please help me to be still in the chaos and know that you are God.

Kerns Khaos

It's seriously a thrill a minute in our household lately...some cases in point:

Two Tuesdays ago:

Totally true conversation:

Janelle: Waking, well-rested, noting the sun coming in the windows; looking at the clock; abruptly snapping out of her happy little moment; yelling "GARON, IT'S 7:15!"

Garon: Jumping up; spastically looking in circles, "What happens at 7:15?"

Janelle: "Isn't this Tuesday?"

Garon: "Tuesday? What? What's going on?"

Janelle: "It is Tuesday, isn't it?"

Garon: "I'm so confused."

Janelle: No comment. Equally confused.

Garon: "*#@#@!"

Random day about a week ago:

New tire, $160. After hours pro-med appt. for the baby with a diagnosis of "It's a virus. Treat symptomatically and come back if anything changes", $92.

Sunday, Sept. 6, 2009:

Spur-of-the-moment family fun trip into Ozark National Forest turns not-so-fun with loud, demanding daughter; fussy, tired baby; moody, angry, bug-eaten daddy; and trying-to-stay-composed mommy, who obtain 5-inch spike in new $160 tire while on dirt road on top of a mountain and have to boogie home before tire goes flat because they don't want to have to change to the spare and no tire shops are open on Sunday...

Monday, Sept. 7, 2009:

Family is very proud of a day spent cleaning, organizing, mowing, carefully placing all bags for next day by door, and then...

Tuesday, Sept. 3, 2009:

Mrs. Kerns arrives at school without any of her materials, lesson plans, or curriculum books necessary for a non-khaotic day.

Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2009:

Getting ready for work/school. Mrs. Kerns going to VB to observe a classroom. Must leave earlier than usual to get kids to BadDad for ride to school then meet teacher friend. Tori is underfoot. Baby is clinging to mommy. Mommy is stressed. Daddy is reacting to Mommy's stress in his helpfully explosive way. Everyone makes it into cars 10-or-so minutes late. Kids are dropped off. Mrs. Kerns heads out for VB. Mr. Kerns is standing in the yard doing a 2-arm wave. His truck is dead. Tone for day is set, and it doesn't improve much...

Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009:

A monsoon straight from SE Asia arrives in Arkansas just in time for family to head out the door. Despite heroic attempts with umbrella, and after fording previously unseen rivers in yard and workplaces, family members arrive at destinations ridiculously soggy and dripping.

Friday, Sept. 11, 2009:

Not there yet, but looking forward to a fresh start! As Scarlett O'Hara says, "For tomorrow is another day!"

Hooky...

Some days you just have to take a moment, breathe a little, and play hooky. So on this Sunday I am praising God for the beauty in my life as I crank MJ through the house, try to put my house back in order, and love on my babies and my hubby. Thank you, God, for a beautiful day...

Bead-dazzling...

...as he helps clean his sister's room. Idn't he sumpin'?

Kind of Random...

Good grief, it's been a busy couple of weeks. It's hard to say exactly how all of the time was spent, but somehow it's gone...I do know that I spent the majority of last week in Searcy at a workshop...that's a post in itself--the appropriate genre for that post would be something like "Horrific Comedies" with a similar title...well, okay. I'm just going to go there...briefly...

1. Put together three less-than-enthusiastic-about-a-three-night-workshop teachers together.
2. Allow said teachers to arrive at pre-arranged hotel at 11ish at night.
3. Allow 2 of said teachers to discover wads of hair in beds, mildew on shower curtain, and smell of urine in room.
4. Let front desk close at 11:00 p.m. giving teachers no way to escape. (Let teachers remedy hotel situation by finding different hotel for nights 2 and 3--THANK YOU!)
5. Let it rain--no, drizzle--for two days straight accompanied by mid-70's in JULY.
6. Let all facilities in Searcy then have thermostats set at 60F leading to....
7. one teacher visiting the ER with a middle ear infection on night 3.
8. Let one teacher find a fingernail in her catered dessert.
9. and finally, though I'm sure I've blocked out many other more traumatizing events from the experience, let the workshop format be completely organized lecture-style allowing said teachers to sit from 8-3:30 each day in an auditorium seat with NO FOOD OR DRINKS ALLOWED.

...or not so briefly, but I'm over it. Really. I did come away with a lot of very good information, and I'll get 6 hours of grad credit once I've completed the series in 2 years, so that's cool. Just all of those factors thrown together were a little hard to bear for we three homebodies who were all heartsick for our families. I know. Wimpy. But we made it.

Oh yeah...then I got home for the sequel...drum roll, please...it's a horrible stomach virus for all spanning from Friday night to Monday afternoon! Let me just say that these were fun times.

ANYWAY, after all of that rigamarole, I spent the day today reading a book between doing mommy sorts of things, and I really needed that mental escape. The book was mediocre, but did satisfy my craving for the moment (yes, I crave books like food--yummy). THEN, my super-duper most amazing selfless sister in the world (even if she's my only super-duper most amazing selfless sister in the world) called me after a full day of work and offered to help me work on my classroom!! So heck yeah, we made a BIG dent! Still no pics, but there will be...

Hmmm...this post turned out rather rantish, but I guess that's okay since I didn't have any particular direction in mind anyway...to end, here are a couple new pics of my beee-uuu-tee-ful babies...(before I left for Searcy we managed a day-trip to take Tori--Adrion, too, though he won't remember--to see a cave since she's been begging...)
















Have I ever mentioned Tori's obsession with ponies??

















Lookin' like a big boy









20 stories underground

















Examining rocks

















The bravest of us all swimming in icy cave water--and loving it! Silly girl.

Work in Progress...

No pics. Forgot the camera, but it's getting there!

Crossroads

Whew! This week has been crrrazy. I haven't totally digested it yet, actually. But, in a nutshell--

• I got an email last Friday that led to a "meeting" Monday at another school.
• The "meeting" (I'm quotationing it because it wasn't supposedly a formal interview) led to an interview on Tuesday.
• The interview on Tuesday (which I started crying in the middle of) led to a second interview on Tuesday (during which I continued to cry, and cry, and cry...seriously, it was ridiculous, but that's a long story...).
  
• The second interview led to a job offer.
• The job offer led to my having to call my current principal and superintendent to discuss said job offer.
  
• Discussion led to a shared conclusion that leaving my current spot would be BAD (semi-long story).
• That conclusion led to my declining the spot on Wednesday and digging back into my other new position at CL.
• My other new position (which I am very excited about, woohoo!) led to my moving about 20 loads of stuff from my old classroom to my new classroom today/night...I'm zonked! (And still not finished...)
• Then, once everything's finally relocated, that will lead to some MAJOR organizing. I'll take a picture of my "project" tomorrow and post it.

Seriously, crrrraziness! But I'm so very thankful. I've actually even experienced a shift in paradigm this week. Spiritually, I've always existed by the idea that when at a crossroads, either one way or the other is God's intended purpose. However, in speaking with my principal she told me about a sermon she thinks about often where God reveals to a man that "neither way is right" because "they both are right". Wow. Imagine that. This idea has rocked my world...like I said, I haven't totally digested it yet, but I'm thinking that here's where free will enters in...whatever we do, we do for God. Therefore, it does not matter sometimes which direction we go as long as we keep God in the center and work for His glory.

Hmmm...I'll be thinking more on this, and I can't wait for church tomorrow. Our God is an awesome God!