Doubt...

...is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
Kahlil Gibran


I unloaded a lot of my heaviness of heart today on Wendi, Mrs. Jones, Candace, my dad, my mom, and soon Garon.  I feel lighter.  :)  My life is God's, and where He leads, I will follow.

Melancholy...

..has a hold on me.  I feel sad, disgruntled, mad, stagnant, dissatisfied, reclusive, meditative, frustrated...I haven't blogged in a while, and this is why.  There is no specific reason for my slumpiness, it just is.  I'm ready for change, and I don't know from which direction to expect it.  My spiritual self says, "Give it up.  Let go."  But my cognitive self says, "It's mine.  I can figure it out." 

I want the best for my family.  For all of us.  I'm ready to settle into something, but what is it?  My heart's desire is for a life of quality and simplicity away from the fanatic pace of purposelessness that our society's image endorses.  I don't want to play anymore.  I want to give my life to my family.  I want to turn off all of the tv's, computers, phones, games, and gadgets and get real.  I want to be reconnected to the earth.  I want to raise my own food, can my own food, teach my own kids, cook quality dinners, clean my nest, write, project, exercise, spend quality family time, enjoy nature, commune with God...

I'm coming to the conclusion that resolving all of these wants in my/our present style-of-life is just not going to happen.  Some women seem to do it all.  I can't.  Or I just don't want to.  What's the point?  To have lots of stuff?  I want time.  I want my kids.  I want my husband.  I don't want to feel strung out and less than me.

So change is coming, and I know what I want.  I know what my kids deserve.  I know what my husband deserves.  I want to be better, and I can't do that when I'm spread in so many directions.  Sumpin's gotta give.

For the Love of a Duck

Once upon a time, Aunt Kristin bought her newborn niece, Tori, a yellow duckie.

(See left side of picture...)

As Baby Tori grew, she fell in love with the little yellow duckie.  She called him "Duyay".

Soon, their bond was unbreakable, and everywhere Tori went, Duyay went, too.

Together they grew some more, and Duyay became "Duckie".

And a little more...

And again a little more, and Duckie became "Ming Ming".

In the blink of an eye, newborn Tori was 7, and Ming Ming was still her most treasured friend.

That year, Ming Ming became "Duckie" again as well as the subject of many photographs...

Even when ponies became a new love of her life, Duckie was always her favorite.

And then one day, Tori was sad.  Duckie was falling to pieces.

So she picked out some new material for an extreme duckie makeover.  And Grammy worked her magic... 

...and transformed Tori's most special friend.

Welcome back, Duckie.  We love you!

Puppy Love

We have a furry new baby.  He is bitey.  He is chewy.  He piddles in inconvenient places.  He more-than-piddles in other inconvenient places.  But he is also lovey and cuddly.  And he is now a Kerns.

Introducing...Yoshi!

Adrionisms

Some of the super cute ones...

Chocky book = Chocolate milk
Towee = Tori
Iwuboomama = I love you, Mama.
Nanass = Candace
Aye-yie = Eli
Owanit = I don't want it.
Cho = Cow (His favorite stuffed animal)
Bankit = Blanket

Lent

Steps for a Beginner (like me--I've been "lenting" for about five years, but my version of lent is still pretty simplistic):

1.  Recognize the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness being tempted by Satan before the start of his ministry.

2.  Give up something of value for the 40-day period.

3.  Every time that "something" is thought of, spend time with God in prayer.

4.  Try to spend time in the Word every day.

5.  Grow closer to God and be solemnly prepared for the celebration of Christ's death and resurrection.

6.  Be aware of the price of our salvation.

7.  Begins tomorrow (Feb. 17th) and ends on Easter.  This time frame actually = 46 days.  Sundays don't count.

Valentine's Day + Birthday = ♥

13 years ago, Garon and I went on a Valentine's date.  G picked me up, we drove into Fort Smith, and we experienced the worst traffic and restaurant lines known to traffic and restaurant-line history.  That Valentine's Day happened to land on a Saturday, and EVERYONE in the entire Fort Smith metro within a 60-mile radius sat together on Rogers Avenue waiting to wait in line. 

And on that night, Garon was going to propose.  As the night progressed and the traffic got worse and we'd abandoned two restaurants and tension was high, we began to fight....Needless to say, the night did not end in a proposal.  So now, to this day, we don't really give Saint Valentine very much attention.  Every other year or so, one of us gets inspired and does something friendly, but overall, it's a dead holiday for us. 

BUT, 2 years ago, Valentine's Day was somewhat redeemed as it became the due date for our second child. Though he didn't wait for THE day, Adrion definitely nullified that botched proposal meaning-of-the-day to replace it with the celebration of his new life. I love that he is our "love bug", and oh my goodness are we in love with him. (As is his big sister when he's not doing his little brother job of annoying her...) So here he is....our great big 2-year-old! Happy Birthday, my beautiful baby boy!