A Testimony

I'm staying put...this year has been a struggle for me for several reasons, but after much soul-searching and pleading with God, the dust has finally settled. My greatest obstacle has been my doubt over the best place for Tori. To say her year started out rocky is an understatement. Then, when I sought to send her to a school where I felt she would be much better served in her needs, doors were closed in my face time and time again. I was angry and frustrated. I was also struggling to maintain my professional friendships while being furious with the situations Tori was having to negotiate.

So I've been praying hard--where, God, do you want me (because wherever I go, Tori goes); what is my purpose for You; help me; light my way--and then God was quiet. I felt so lost. Then more prayer--please, God, help me make the right choices for my Tori's future. Still nothing. I kept trying to be still. "Be still and know that I am God." Things did slowly begin to change. Tori's year was easing up...but I didn't notice. I was still screaming my prayers into the heavens begging for answers that I was trying to orchestrate myself despite my "stillness".

Then, last weekend our church had a women's retreat. With all of the unrest in the other parts of my life, I've spent this year being dissatisfied at church, too. So, I wasn't super excited, but I prayed for an open mind and an open heart. At the retreat, during one of the quiet moments when our pastor's wife asked us to sit silently and let God move, I prayed once more--please, God, show me Your will. I stopped my screaming and listened. Then, so quietly, I felt His still, quiet voice telling me, "I led you to County Line". Twice, to be exact. I am a doubting Thomas, and though God led me there in the first place, I thought it wasn't good enough, and I left. That's a whole other story and testimony, but ultimately, God sent me back.

And, I have to backtrack a bit and share that the teacher who works across the hall from me started coming to our church a few months ago. She and her husband are people rooted deeply in the spirit of God, and they were led to our church through our pastor and his wife who are good friends and who they met at their previous church...

So, back to the retreat--after that still, quiet moment where God's silence was finally broken for me, we began praying aloud. My co-worker broke in and prayed a prayer in gratitude for me and our ministry there at County Line together. God had given me my direction. I realized, too, that until that moment, God had been waiting for me to be quiet so he could speak. Even though I thought I was listening, I had been raging for months. I have also learned several times now in my life, that God's messages sometimes take time--that's not a lesson I've well-learned, but I'm working on it.

I am so thankful for my God and His direction for my life. My life is His, and where He leads I will follow. County Line is such a sweet, nurturing little school, and I am blessed to work there. Likewise, Tori is loved and adored there, and whatever is lacking in resources for her is made up in the teachers' efforts to provide anything she needs. I'm thankful for stillness in my heart.

We are staying put, and whatever choices follow from here will be about putting down roots. I love you, my God, and thank you for your Life in my heart.

Christmas 2008

It's already here and gone, and here are some moments to remember...











Tori and Lauren's Christmas dance recital (Tori's first)...















The Vesta UMC Christmas program: Tori and Adrion were both part of the heavenly host...Tori was also a part of Mrs. Linda's bell choir.















The third Santa of the season...

















Adrion with his first real sickness ever--some kind of "throat blisters" complete with 103 degree fever--on Christmas Eve!!















Tori and her daddy at the Kerns Family Christmas without me and the baby. :(












Christmas with the Smiths...



Missing are pictures of Tori with her "FurReal" pony that Santa brought. We do have video, but I don't have time to figure that out at the moment. :) Gotta go get my house put back together! I must say before ending this post though that we are so, so blessed. We have an absolutely amazing family, and I'm so thankful for the overwhelming show of love that we share each holiday season. My heart is full, and I'm looking forward to a wonderful 2009!

The Christmas Train

Close to Pryor, OK is a little place called Dry Gulch where they have a Christmas train every year. A friend at work told me about it, so we went last Saturday. It's a neat little place, and we enjoyed it! The train takes you from the story of creation through Christ's resurrection. Then, Tori got to ride a carousel and a pony, we rode in a horse-drawn carriage, and the kiddos got to visit Santa. Adrion was not intimidated at all by his first encounter with big scary Santa! Tori and Adrion have actually seen Santa twice already--here and at G's work. They'll probably see him at least two more times still before Christmas...I can't remember that many Santas being around when I was a kid!

Here's me, Tori, and Adrion with the train lit up in the background.

Here's Tori telling Santa she wants "Fur-Real" Smores pony that "eats a carrot, moves her head up and down, and combs her hair really pretend". This was news to me and G who were under the impression she was not interested in this pony. Needless to say, we revamped the Santa list.

Here's my G and my little man sporting their stylin' winter hats.

Here we all are on the train.

And I just like this one...the roses in the background are from G for our 10-year anniversary! Love you, my G.

And tonight Tori and I are off to see the wizard with my drama kids! The season is getting busy!

10 Years

Yesterday was mine and Garon's 10-year anniversary! We had reservations at a cottage in Eureka Springs that I'd made several months ago. However, when the time came, I wasn't ready to leave Adrion, so we sent my parents in our stead! So, they are up there now, and I hope they are having a wonderful time!

We opted for dinner and a movie rental. Thanks to Nonna and Pops for keeping Adrion and Candace for keeping Tori, we enjoyed a yummy dinner at the Ribeye then came home with our movies. It was nice! I love my Garon so much! Our 10 years have been very roller-coastery with the challenges life has given (and some that we have chosen), but through everything our love has always been the one solid piece. I am so thankful and blessed. I love you, G.

9 months old

Today is Adrion's 9 month, Pops's 56th, and Emma's 3rd birthday! Adrion's most recent accomplishment is pulling up to stand. He started trying about a week ago, and now he's a pro! Here he is two different times that I found him standing this morning... :)

And here he is just being cute.

Buzzing Tori's Brain

One of Tori's favorite games to play with her animals is to "buzz their brains". I'm not exactly sure what that means, but Tori says it means they're dead, so they buzz their brains. Hmmm....anyway, Tori got her brain buzzed finally, too. She had her EEG a couple of weeks ago, and it was a little abnormal in the right frontal lobe. I'm not exactly sure what that means either except that that's the lobe that deals with communication and sensory stuff--interesting since those are Tori's main difficulties. Anyway, we are now headed to Little Rock on Friday for an MRI. She will be sedated and get an IV for the "contrast" imaging. I don't know what result will come from the testing, but I'll be glad to just make sure that everything physically is okay. So keep us in your prayers!

Halloweeny Pics

Adrion's 2 teeth as promised...

Enjoying his first pumpkin full of Halloween candy...

Supergirl (with fangs) and Yoda :)