Saturday, February 6, 2010

A Little Bit Psycho

Yep.  That's me sometimes.  I get hot and bothered about something, and I react.  I live very emotionally.  Not so much ever logically.  I definitely tend to jump before I think.  This lovely characteristic of mine has had some repercussions, but I think it's just part of my story.  Each time I have reacted too rashly, I've had to wait for time to slowly heal the gouges I've caused in relationships, finances, life's purpose...I own it, and I'm working on it.

In C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia series, when the characters don't understand the attitudes/actions/injustices of another's life, Aslan (the lion) often counsels them in saying, "That's his (or her) story."  In other words, don't try to understand or judge.  Everyone has their individual journey of faith, and God deals with each person differently.  That idea has been very liberating for me.  When I consider my circumstances at any particular moment or the circumstances of others around me, it is such a load off my shoulders to realize that I don't have to worry about it.  That's God's job.  All I have to do is stay focused on Him, and he'll carry that load. When we own the fact that each of our stories is unique, our judgments have to turn inward.  We can no longer point at someone else's flaws.  That's God's story with that person, so we in turn have to look inward and question our own stories.

I do believe I digressed.  So back on point, my greatest regrets are the hurtful words I've spent toward people I love.  In my heated reactivity, I have carelessly wounded beloved friends and family.  If you are reading this and you are one of these people, I'm sorry.  I've had my ugly moments, and those make me sad.

BUT, life is so good, so beautiful, so abundant, so sweet, and I am so thankful.  I love my God with all my heart, and I try every day to give my everything to Him.  What's your story?

No comments:

Post a Comment