My Tori

Well, actually she's Garon's, too, and her grandparents' and the rest of her extended family's, but ANYWAY, here's her story (briefly) starting at birth...

<1--Extremely difficult, easily set-off, rigid, mostly inconsolable infant. Extreme sensitivity of personal space. (This is still true.)

1-2 years--Normal developmental milestones met, but some "quirky". For example, didn't refer to self as "I" until 3. She always referred to herself in the third person and echoed to communicate. Many, many tantrums. We "walked on eggshells" a lot, not knowing what would set her off. I was very protective--probably because I knew her triggers and others didn't know not to treat her as they would other babies.

2 1/2-3 years--First evals done at Schmeiding. The doctor there attributed her behaviors to my over-protectiveness. Basically, it was my fault.

2 1/2-3 years--Sis-in-law got us into Kistler for further evals. "Sensory Integration Dysfunction" was the new direction. Tori began speech and OT twice a week.

3-4 years--Tori began pre-school. Speech and OT services were now given through the area's educational coop.

5 years--Divine intervention. Through a chance meeting, I found an educational examiner who lives only 5 minutes from my "in-the-boonies" home. She did an array of evals that finally gave us a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. Finally, a more solid direction to guide us in seeking resources, though this is only an "educational" diagnosis.

5-7 years--K-2 in public school. Tantrums, fights, inappropriate reactivity, impulsivity, difficulty focusing, basically a hard road. Maybe actually for me more than her though, since I'm the mom watching it every day (and I work there, so I get an insiders' look, too).

7 years--YESTERDAY--Medical team all-day evals at Dennis Developmental in Little Rock. Overall results:

• She's definitely on the autism spectrum. Asperger's isn't a perfect fit, but autism presents differently in girls, and it's the closest label. So, Asperger's it is...
• We now have a permanent connection to Little Rock's resources including a new doc in Alma who will do yearly update appointments with us.
• Tori will start meds soon to help with her concentration.
• We will continue lots and lots of social stories, "coaching" her through day-to-day activities, and start focusing a lot on "Theory of Mind" to help her learn to empathize and cope socially.

So, in a super-short, brief picture, here we are. My Tori, you are my beautiful, precious, funny, inspiring, light-of-my-life. I love you so much, and no matter what the world throws your way, I'll do everything I can to help you figure it out.

Got 'cha

As it turns out, fuming the possums out did not work. So, plan B...Garon bought a trap. And, as you can see, it was very effective. We set it with some Thanksgiving dinner leftovers, so at least the poor thing got a good last meal at the Kerns house....


















...before we drove it to its new home 5 miles away near the Arkansas River.
















Bye, bye, stinky possum!

Random

According to my husband, I need a secretary. My mind is so constantly scattered in so many directions that I rarely know exactly what I'm doing or where I've been. It seriously takes focused effort on my part to replay the events of one day, let alone a week, or heaven forbid longer than that. SO, this post is random like my mind at the moment...

First, Baby Stellan from the "My Charming Kids" blog had surgery today. Stellan just turned one year old and today underwent his second heart surgery. He has been hanging in there by God's amazing grace for the past several months as doctors have waited for his little body to be big enough to tolerate the needed surgery. Well, he had it today, and it was overwhelmingly successful. It's a very long story, but "McMama's" link is on my site if you're interested in more details. The most amazing part to me is the connection of people that the life of this sweet baby has brought together through the wise voice God has given to his mama. As long as she keeps blogging, I'll continue to check in and love her family.

Next, with Stellan on my mind, I began thinking today about God and miracles and angels and such, and remembered a poignant moment in my life when I witnessed the supernatural--feeling God's presence is familiar, but seeing it is something else...my sister and I were swimming with our kids at one of my friend's house. We three moms were chatting as our kids played. Our three chairs were facing the pool where our three girls were in and my sister's son was out. He was 3 at the time, and as we chatted he leaned in for a toy that was just out of reach. All three of us moms turned at once in that surreal moment to see my 6-year-old daughter lifting her 3-year-old cousin out of the deep end. She hadn't had swim lessons. She was not strong enough to lift him. But she did--effortlessly--and we saw her. We asked her what happened, and she said "I saved Eli". Just like that. No big deal. But truly, we saw the Big Deal, and it is still absolutely incomprehensible.

And on to the next totally unrelated thing--possums. We have a possum family that has been living under our house for the past probably 6 months. I am a devout lover of animals, so any kind of inhumane eviction has been out of the question. The grandest effort we (I) have made until tonight was the purchase of a can of stinky granules that were supposedly made with the scent of their predators' urine. Well, I crawled under the house, spread the granules, and the possums didn't blink. (I need to also mention here that our 3 cats peacefully co-exist with the possums. They can often be found chilling on the porch with them after dark.) ANYWAY, tonight Garon purposefully, stealthily approached me as he gestured for me to follow. Hmmm...at this point I'm thinking there's something naturey and pretty that he wants to show me. He led me into our bedroom where he pointed to the vent. Then he mouthed, "The possum's in there." So...I opened it, and there's the possum looking up at us. Weird. So, Garon got the bleach and dumped it down all of the vent ducts to fume it out. We then shut all vents to make sure it stayed extra fumey down there...and then, they RAN AWAY!!! Yay! We have now blocked all known entrances under our house, so maybe our unwanted guests won't be staying for the holidays.

And next, speaking of houses, we're scouting out the Smiths' 60 acres for a place to re-plant ourselves. We have outgrown this house, and it's definitely time for a new direction. We hope to rent this house after we move, but we'll see. ALL details are still in the air. We'll probably do something by spring, so my mind is definitely preoccupied occasionally with the details...

And finally, after three weeks of sickness and fever in our house, Adrion is better (knock on wood) and Tori has a diagnosis for her relentless fever--pneumonia. I am so glad for that diagnosis and so, so thankful for our wonderfully thorough and kind pediatrician, Dr. Beene. She is amazing.

One last happy thought--the 21st is my and G's 11th anniversary. That's so unreal to me. When we married, nothing in my life made sense except for him. He is the one piece that has always been solid. Now, we're almost to a place where we can be still and enjoy with the rest of our life falling in place around us. I'm so thankful and so ready for that. I love you, my G.

And that concludes my commercial message of random thoughts...now on to some paper-grading.

We're off to see the wizard...

Dorothy and Scarecrow...





















with Glenda the Good Witch and Tinman...
















and Tinkerbell and Bumblebee.
















Halloween 2009

A few of my favorite things...

(A Kerns family sing-along to the tune from Sound of Music)

Smiling Tori

















and my big boy "Bubbers",






















Kisses for Daddy,


















and more for the mommy,


















Adrion showing his sweet pearly whites,






















Garon exploring beneath autumn light...



















Do doo doot, do doo doot...

















Okay. The end. :)


















Oh wait, one more just cuz they're so cute...

Tori's 1st Riding Lesson

Tori started riding lessons today, and there are no words to express how EXCITED she was! Her teacher said that she had a natural sit, and she was able to lead the horse a little. Go Tori! Here is a camera phone pic of her first ever real horse experience. Maybe one of these days we'll have a little barrel racer.

Blessings

My cup overflows.